Remembrances of
Larry Hoey
Back to Larry Hoey Home Page

One of My Closest Friends

Mars Longden - Evanston, Illinois
SannaMars@aol.com

Larry was one of my closest friends.  We learned of his death while traveling in Alaska.  We stopped in Seward to check our e-mail, and there it was.  There are no words to describe the feeling of emptiness that ensued, the seeming unfairness of having his life snatched from him while he was in his prime.

Although we had known each other since the 1970's where we met through folkdancing, it wasn't until recently that our friendship blossomed and became much closer.  This closeness was fostered by our shared love of music. 

Many people knew Larry through dance, but perhaps few realize that he was a very accomplished pianist.  I remember quite clearly a discussion we had about the purchase of his piano.  He was living in an apartment and was trying to decide whether to buy a condo or a piano.  He couldn't afford both. 

He finally opted for the piano, and gleefully described how difficult it was to get it into his apartment, where it took up much of the available space.  It was a rather large grand piano (I think), about 1903 vintage, and had been restored either by him or the previous owner.  That he would spend a sum equivalent to a condo for his piano tells you how serious he was about music.

Larry had season tickets for many years to the Chicago Symphony.  He would drive down to Chicago for concerts, and then drive back to Milwaukee.  Perhaps five years ago, it dawned on us that he could stay at our house, and drive back the next morning feeling more refreshed.  He would come over, and we would discuss the concert and music and dance over a glass of cognac (or port, or plum wine, etc.).  This went on for a while, and then one night I asked him if he liked opera.  I was somewhat stunned when he said that he knew little about it.  So, I played for him a few arias that only the most determined opera hater would not love, and he was hooked. 

In fact,  I created a monster.  Not only did he get season tickets to the Lyric Opera of Chicago, but he began to fly to the Met in NY just to hear opera.  He also talked of attending opera in Europe, although I don't know whether he ever did or not.  He immediately went nuts over Wagner, and heard the enitire Ring cycle at the Met.  He also loved practically everything 
else.  Among his favorite singers were Natalie Dessay, Dawn Upshaw, and Jennifer Larmore.  Now we had more opportunites to be together since he was in Chicago for both the symphony and the opera. 

We were always bringing new recordings to each other for our listening pleasure.  It was a treasure for me to find someone who perfectly shared my love of opera and music.  Perhaps my fondest opera memory of Larry was this year, after he had come back from a performance of Carmen and was raving about Denyce Graves (who starred as Carmen and was very good).  I commented to him that if he really wanted to see a good Carmen, he should see Maria Ewing, who I just happened to have on video.  So we watched the first two acts into the wee hours, and he became transfixed, almost speechless.  Maria was spellbinding for him (it was her eyes, he said and yes, she was very sexy, too).  He went to bed that night but couldn't sleep, having fantasies about Maria.

But there is more.  Since I have sung some opera, we one day figured that maybe he could accompany me and we could make music together.  So we did.  We would wake in the morning and make our music for a couple of hours, singing and playing art songs and opera arias.  Now we had yet another reason to be together, and he used to go out of his way to schedule his trips so that we could be together.  These times were priceless, and can never be duplicated.

All of the above does even touch our dance connection, which was also long and deep.  We all danced in Balkanski Igre, although at various times, and were together at dances to numerous to mention.  However, it was our music connection that was so special and cannot be replaced.

As I move from room to room in our house, I see Larry practically everywhere; listening to music in the living room, watching videos in the back room, on our deck sipping some cognac, and, of course, at the piano.  I hear his warm laugh, and see his smile.  I feel blessed to have known him, and tragically saddened to have lost him.  He was a magical person.

I will never again be able to listen to music or to sing without thinking of him. 
 
Mars

Mars Longden - Evanston, Illinois
SannaMars@aol.com
 


Back to Larry Hoey Home Page